Bled Out Onto a Page

Feel. Release. Heal.

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My old addiction

After several excruciating years of waiting, we had finally gotten together and it was everything I’d ever dreamed it could be. Right off the bat, the electricity between us was filled with both complete understanding and raw sexual chemistry which became static on our tongues and fingertips.

For two marvelous months life was perfect and we wanted for nothing.

Those times however, were not meant to last. I was driving home one evening when I was rocked by a coughing fit so severe I had to pull over. I gripped the wheel with both of my hands as my chest continued to spasm and sent razor blades up my esophagus until blood sprayed my dashboard.

My old addiction finally came up to bite me in the ass and I was diagnosed with lung cancer. I’m a college student with no savings or insurance. The doctors haven’t given me long.

I haven’t been able to sleep much since then. I feel like I’ve got precious little time to waste on dreams, so I spend it watching as you do. At first I was so fucking angry with myself for happily killing myself this whole time and cutting our life together so short. I wasted an entire week in this state before I realized just how much time with you that was.

Now, I’m going to savor every single second until I run out. For some reason I know it’s going to be okay, because at least I’ll be facing it with you by my side. But, where does that leave you after I’m gone? You’re the one who’s really suffering here and I won’t be able to comfort you for much longer.

I lay back down and blanket you in my arms. You nuzzle into my neck and smile. It makes me think about all the precious moments people take for granted, because they assume tomorrow is a promise.

Then I kiss your forehead and allow myself to dream.

Filed under fiction story writing creative writing cancer love spilled ink

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